I like to pretend

I like to pretend that everything is A-Okay. I like to pretend that my life is a cake walk and that things are easy breezy. This is not actually the case.

Let’s take a look into my life, shall we?

I am a full time mother of three rapidly growing boys. They are my driving force and reason for being. They bring my joy and heartache(when they are sad) and frustration when I feel like they just would rather not listen to me. It is hard as hell being a parent and it definitely doesn’t come with a rule book or blueprint. It is even harder when you are going through it mostly alone. But on the other side of the coin, I have been able to forge this unbreakable bond with these fellas that I hope will prove beneficial when they hit that “mom get out” age in life. I hope that we will continue to have open lines of communication and that they never feel like they’re missing anything when it comes to mother son relationship.

I am a full time student. I have been on this fairly exhausting journey as far as schooling is concerned. Although I only take two courses at a time, these courses have me constantly writing reading analyzing and composing. If you are a full time college student, you know what I mean. This is a whole life situation all on it’s own.

I work full time. I don’t just punch in, do my job and, go home. I have to actively seek contracts that fit my needs as far as flexibility and pay. I have to make sure that I leave a good impression at all times so that I can constantly receive contracts with companies. I have to actually do the work and sometimes this is a full day affair! Some field work has me on the road for hours and then the office piece is just as long, if not longer.

I try to make a presence on life in some sort of full time capacity and we all know how hard that can be.

Three full time things and a possible (Spades).. phew. I am tired

If you tried to add all of the man hours up and see how much time I actually spend parenting, learning, working and, blogging, tweeting, Instagraming and, Facebooking then you my friend are a brave soul! If you actually garnered a figure from all of this then you are a mathematician!  AND finally, if you have managed to find some “me time” in this equation then I really need your number because we need to talk!


Hello World… Let source the crowd

My mind is going down the drain and I don’t mean in the sultry way. I have opted to take this day off of work to complete all of the school work for the week so that I don’t have to think about it for the rest of the week. This sounded like a great plan until I found myself sitting in front of this laptop, getting absolutely nothing done, for the past hour and forty-five minutes!

I chose to deal with the information technology coursework first.. This was mistake numero uno. The topic of the weeks work is crowdsourcing (using the people of the world wide web to get your business running strong). My task is as follows:

Chapter 13 contains a reading about a company called ModCloth using ‘crowdsourcing’ as a tool to build a successful business. After reading the article “Crowd-Powered: Why Doritos Lets Fans Make Its Super Bowl Ads” and watching the video, choose one of the other articles(“Crime solving by crowdsourcing”, “Science by crowdsourcing: MIT researcher creates online game to gather help unlocking brain’s mysteries”, or “Should we trust the wisdom of crowds?”)that interests you.Discuss how the Internet has influenced the power and pitfalls of crowdsourcing, citing the two articles to support your case.

Let’s be honest… I’m just not interested in reading the articles or doing the paper. I am finding it difficult to relate to the topic at hand. I usually find it easy to place myself in situations and create some some of magic even if the theme is totally foreign to me…. But the power of crowdsourcing? I think crowsourcing is awesome… the end! I wonder if that would be too short of a short paper. Thoughts? Ideas? willingness to write this paper for me?

Things Seen and Felt

What a day! Everything about this day is slightly odd. The beginning and the end of this day are what will be discussed tonight. I started this day by rolling out of bed and trying to get my fellas motivated for school(pep talks and what not). We gathered ourselves and headed out the door. I thought that I was in a rush to get my day going. This is because I had a lot on my mind and needed a distraction. Well… I found it! I was getting in my car after leaving the gas station and saw a guy that just couldn’t wait.


He was ahead of me in the gas station and could not wait until he got home to roll his blunt! I was kind of shocked to see a guy rolling up right in front of the front door where the cameras usually are. I used the camera from the lock screen so that I could put the phone to my ear so he didn’t know I was taking a picture of him… Total invasion of privacy but you cannot assume privacy when you are in a vehicle.

This was distraction enough for me to head about my day with a mind less cluttered in MY reality. Half way to my first destination I was fortunate enough to see a bunch of fuzzy bulls.


I don’t often get to see bulls (LMAO) I live in the city and usually keep my eyes somewhat on the road when I am working. These guys caught my eye because they were fuzzy! I assume it is because it is not yet warm enough for them to “shed” but then again, I don’t often see a gaggle of bull <—-correct my terms please!

AHH the softer side of manhood.

But the best thing that I say this day, besides my wonderful offspring, was THIS


This, my friends, is the score for my ROUGH DRAFT of my Psychology term paper! I guess you have got to be in college to know what this feels like, but I am (excuse my french) fucking elated! I do not have to rewrite this paper. I did a perfect first copy.  All I did was take draft of the copy and resubmitted it! I expected some sort of critique, something along the lines of not explaining the Stanford Prison Experiment thoroughly enough or being too vague explaining the Holmes Rahe assessment… Either way, I aced it and now let the celebration begin…. Where’s that bottle???


Knock it out Now…

OMG 1758 words later, I have submitted the draft for my stress management action plan for Psychology. It’s about 3 days early because I really didn’t want to wait until the last minute. I’m pretty much a serial procrastinator. I found that I like to put things off until the last minute because I enjoy the stress of having 4 hours to meet a deadline. I fell like I would like to try something new and so there you have it! It still did not take very long.

I thought about it all of Saturday.

Pulled all my sources bookmarked spots needed and added them to Word yesterday.

Tonight, after kissing the kids good night at 8:30, I put my feet up and  typed until done.

I did not proof read for context and stuff like that because it’s a draft and it’s a long draft…. 558 words over the target. I guess it’s a passive aggressive snipe for having to write a stress management action plan.

Homework Helpers

I am an avid “I will help but, you will do it” kind of homework helper. I stress the fact that the boys need to do their homework and will help whenever needed but will not over help. I think that this has helped my boys to be better able to figure things out and promotes independence. I know that some parents do all of the ‘things’ for their children, this is evident with my kid comes home with a valentine from 4th grade Tammy with adult writing. Yeah, girls have better hand writing than boys (not in my case) but that fourth grade child does not write like that!

Yesterday was a very long day for the baby of the family. He takes part in a science club at school and yesterday was the first day of the club. He has also decided that he would like to take part in karate which the oldest does on Tuesday’s as well. His schedule was; school from 8:15- 2:40, Science club from 3-5 and then, karate from 5:30-6:30. After all of that he still needed to eat, shower, and do homework. I told him he could eat and do homework at the same time. We had fast food because of the long day (there was no way I would be cooking at 7pm) and so burgers and homework was his goal.

Somewhere along the way, the homework never made it out of the car.

This morning as we were rushing to gather things to get out of the door for school, I asked him where his backpack was. He walked to the homework room and came back with a devastated look on his face. I asked him what was wrong and he bursts into tears and says he forgot to do his homework. I calmed him down and said that we had plenty of time to do it, I would help him while the car warmed up and we could sit in the car unit it was done. (I totally said this without asking the content of the homework…. oops) I found out that he only had 4 math problems and has to make a list of 25 of his ‘qualities’. He cranked out the math and we drove really slowly towards school. As we drove, the other two boys and I took turns listing his qualities as he wrote them down.

Although I am not one to do the home for the kids, this one was a welcome exception. I could list everything that I think is a quality I possess but those words would pale in comparison to a list of qualities that someone I love assigned to me. We had fun doing it, and I hope that he felt proud that his family could spout out, so readily, all of the great things about him.

Nature V Nurture… Good thing it’s week 1

My Psych class for the BS program is online. This means that we have to actively participate in online discussion boards. Week one in this course started out kind of heavy. I expected it to be, introduce yourself and read some stuff, but otherwise very chill. Not true. The instructor went with “select a behavior you have seen in someone you know. Based on the reading in the text, share whether you think this behavior is based more on nature or nurture or a combination of the two”.

I wanted to go with Bane because there are so many behaviors to choose from, good and bad but I found it difficult to decide if they would fit into nature or nurture because I don’t have enough familial history to make that call. I decided to go with the ex-husband because alcoholism is thought to be genetic and can also be a learned behavior gone bad(my opinion).

I almost went with myself because of the fact that my mother and myself have pretty much carbon copy addictions, and yen yang morals,  but I didn’t want to dive into that lake just yet.

Along with posting, you have to reply to others’ posts with relevant material… I am at a loss. I have read through, maybe, a third of the posts and so far I only have “no…. that’s solely nurture!!” I don’t want to come off as rude or argumentative and I definitely don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings because there is some personal stuff in there…

Wish me luck. I think I can… I think I can…



Switching into high gear

I didn’t know how terribly stuck I was unit I was entering an associate degree program for counseling. I am sure I wrote about my program back in the summer. The problem with that was, I already hold a Associate degree!

I felt like I was keeping myself on the same level and I was becoming more and more stuck in a rut. I was terrified when I decided to apply for a Bachelor degree program. I put it off and put it off but realized that I had to move forward in life.


I was with him for almost two years. Our relationship became progressively volatile and9d3809edb2af878b4247192467223644 ended in a blaze of lights and sirens. Again, I was stuck in a rut. I tolerated every single thing that the guy threw at me and stayed on that level of compliance. Never standing up or speaking out. On the rare occasion that I did stand up, I almost immediately retracted it.

I decided to get out of that rut as well. I am standing stronger and taller than ever. I have thwarted all attempts at a backslide and I feel pretty good about it. I know that I can not change the feelings that I have, but I also know that I can no longer tolerate disrespect. I will not longer tolerate disrespect.

My living space has been stuck in a rut as well. I am slowing crawling from underneath the complete and total neglect that has been my world since July. It’s time to get back to the Nine Environments Of Me

This week has come to a close (depending on you perception, it may be 1 one of week 2) It’s time to wash it away. Take the things that will help you to learn and grow into the next week, but leave the things that do not serve you behind.