Dear Diary: You Write Like You Speak

Someone told me, a while ago, “you write like you speak”. I don’t believe this was meant to be a compliment nor was it meant to be a criticism.  Merely an observation? A tiny soundbite to make me think?

This comment popped into my thoughts after I had finished rambling on, in my mind, an observation of my own.

I had been on my back porch enjoying my morning coffee and examining the word love and how it has been used or not used throughout my 34 years of existence.

I attempted to recall my older sisters’ usage of the word and noted my younger brothers frequent conversational ending; “I Love you”. I accepted my own use of the word; multiple times throughout the day with my children and mostly in response to those residing outside my domain.

As I try to scrutinize how three people, who grew up in the same home, with the same parental figures, could have greatly varying practices of uttering this word, there it was… “You write like you speak”.

But why? How did that remark fit into this mental dialog? The fact that this comment lingers in my cranial filing system and has the wherewithal to spring forward, without being summoned, deserves some exploring.

Through all this black and white chatter, strangely, I am left with this thought; be mindful when speaking because words have sticking power.

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As it relates to “the Fixer”

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It’s this very much a light bulb moment?

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Here’s to finding yourself again my fixer friends. Find the complete story on the Earth Child’s Site

 

Rock Bottom Part 1

Rock bottom is a little different for everyone. Mine is different from yours and yours is different from Mr. X’s. It is how we deal with being at the bottom that is similar for all people. Either you cave and give up or you fight and pull through.

Why do people give up?

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Expecting fast results: It is true what they say, Rome wasn’t built in a day and therefore how do we still expect instant change of our seemingly negative time periods? All things take time to bloom. Much like a flower, we need to plant the seed of change and cultivate and nurture the plant itself. Once the changes begin to take effect, we need to continue to take care of the changes we’ve put in place otherwise that flower will die and we will be back at the same place we started.

Stop believing in themselves: Once you stop believing in yourself, giving up is easy. I would love to say all things are mind over matter but I’ve heard one too many times “CrazyTown, you can’t just will things to be better”. I agree you cannot will change but you can change your limiting beliefs and once you are able to do that, the world is your oyster. You begin to believe that all things are possible and stop placing road blocks or ceiling caps on yourself. You begin to believe that you can do it, and that belief, that belief alone can give you the motivation to get out into the world and actually do it.

Get Stuck In the Past: I do not think there are many things worse than dwelling on past negativity. That is a surefire way to halt any and all progress. We should learn lessons from our past actions both the good and the bad. It is when we focus on the bad that it is easy to place all of those road blocks or limiting beliefs. “Well, the last time I tried to change I failed and therefore I will fail now” with that mentality, you are setting yourself up for that outcome.  Why not change it up? “The last time I tried to change X I learned that Y didn’t work, so this time I will try Z”

Dwelling on mistakes: See Getting Stuck in the Past!!!

 

Photo Credit : asianentrepreneur.org

Find your happy place

I sat there not trying to judge.

I sat there unable (quite literally) unable to speak.

I sat there because there was no escape.
18dc6ddI guess my “problem” is that I believe we never stop learning. I thoroughly enjoy learning. I enjoy listening to other’s perspectives on things and really taking those things into consideration, because, maybe, just maybe, there might be something in there that I can learn from.

I don’t expect others to have that same outlook on life. I would never expect anyone to think like I do. But I do expect, the people that I surround myself with, to have have an open mind or at least a little bit of an open mind.

It’s okay if you think you’re an expert in certain fields to fight to the death about your opinion on that subject, but how can your opinion seem valid if you are constantly contradicting it? I get that we often contradict ourselves, or grow to believe a different theory is a better way to phrase it, but does that really happen in the same breath?

Please, my know it all friends, know it all on one side of the coin at a time. Watching your live debate with yourself (because you clearly won’t let others weigh in) makes me wish I could diagnose you.

Hashtag of the day #OpenYourMindAndCloseYourMouth

Tiny Victories…. Welcome back Date Night

I spent the whole weekend rehearsing how I would cut my paid bestie off and dealing with some family drama.

My niece had gotten suspended from school for beating up a boy so I had 4 children all weekend and my niece stayed until Tuesday night. I think I made some significant progress with her in a very passive way, but I don’t have her always, so I don’t know if it’ll stick.

I spent the rest of the week running around with the fellas and all of their various activities. It was a long week.

So, as I previously stated, I had plans on cutting off my bestie but as soon as I walked in the front door, I no longer had the heart AND I gained some valuable incites. We talked a great deal about how quickly I could get through a masters program, so I am super excited about that. We moved on to talking about how my personalty would be a great fit for the psychological profession. I agree! haha

After we talked all about me, I laid my weekend stresses on her. I told her all about what I was dealing with and how I was attempting to go about handling it. She showed me so great printables that may be helpful with the situation that I will be on the hunt for so that if we ever have a long weekend together again, I will be fully prepared. She also told me it was a bad idea to treat family and friends so I should consider calling another therapist.

I even dug down deep inside of me and completed my Humanities “structured draft” final project.

I feel like I got a lot done today, and in a very little time today.

I managed to block out the fact that sir mixalot called the other day, Tuesday if I’m not mistaken, and informed me that he was picked up by the West Palm Beach Police department and was being held on some warrants. I got a call the following day from the department asking me questions about him and his previous places of residency. I answered honestly, of course, because that is my way! At the end of the call, the guy informed me that it was just a misdemeanor offense and he would probably be release that morning… He has yet to try to make contact so I assume that he is still in jail.

After all of the things that have occurred since the clock stuck noon, one week ago today, I73610b am still alive! I figured I would treat myself so I bought a bottle of wine.

Unfortunately, I have not opened it. It sits right on the shelf that I placed it on when I got home.

I also treated myself to some “free” subway… YAY points!!! I tried the cheddar and broccoli soup that the have, it’s disgusting! It had a chemical aftertaste… Maybe they are the new Chipotle 🙂 I will be sure to let you know if I come down with a deadly illness or two.

 

You may not be able to join me for a glass of wine on this beautiful date night but, grab a bowl and a spoon because Snickers Ice Cream is on the menu for the evening.

Enjoy the frosty goodness.

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Be the message

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Nature V Nurture… Good thing it’s week 1

My Psych class for the BS program is online. This means that we have to actively participate in online discussion boards. Week one in this course started out kind of heavy. I expected it to be, introduce yourself and read some stuff, but otherwise very chill. Not true. The instructor went with “select a behavior you have seen in someone you know. Based on the reading in the text, share whether you think this behavior is based more on nature or nurture or a combination of the two”.

I wanted to go with Bane because there are so many behaviors to choose from, good and bad but I found it difficult to decide if they would fit into nature or nurture because I don’t have enough familial history to make that call. I decided to go with the ex-husband because alcoholism is thought to be genetic and can also be a learned behavior gone bad(my opinion).

I almost went with myself because of the fact that my mother and myself have pretty much carbon copy addictions, and yen yang morals,  but I didn’t want to dive into that lake just yet.

Along with posting, you have to reply to others’ posts with relevant material… I am at a loss. I have read through, maybe, a third of the posts and so far I only have “no…. that’s solely nurture!!” I don’t want to come off as rude or argumentative and I definitely don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings because there is some personal stuff in there…

Wish me luck. I think I can… I think I can…