Good Morning Monday

What a productive day it has been so far! I made a to-do list in my head yesterday and managed to get it all completed by 10am today😍 this means, along with having completed the musts, i can get so much more done!

I started my day off by paying some bills

Things you could get done in pj’s

Went and grabbed groceries.

Picked up my oldest’s summer reading material for his first project in his first year of private school (any donations will be accepted😂)

Dropped off forms do my youngest can do his first year of football.

And added to my shop!

And i managed to throw this post up.

Here’s to a super productive Monday laden with blessings and clarity… I love feeling this motivated.😘😘😘 

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I like to pretend

I like to pretend that everything is A-Okay. I like to pretend that my life is a cake walk and that things are easy breezy. This is not actually the case.

Let’s take a look into my life, shall we?

I am a full time mother of three rapidly growing boys. They are my driving force and reason for being. They bring my joy and heartache(when they are sad) and frustration when I feel like they just would rather not listen to me. It is hard as hell being a parent and it definitely doesn’t come with a rule book or blueprint. It is even harder when you are going through it mostly alone. But on the other side of the coin, I have been able to forge this unbreakable bond with these fellas that I hope will prove beneficial when they hit that “mom get out” age in life. I hope that we will continue to have open lines of communication and that they never feel like they’re missing anything when it comes to mother son relationship.

I am a full time student. I have been on this fairly exhausting journey as far as schooling is concerned. Although I only take two courses at a time, these courses have me constantly writing reading analyzing and composing. If you are a full time college student, you know what I mean. This is a whole life situation all on it’s own.

I work full time. I don’t just punch in, do my job and, go home. I have to actively seek contracts that fit my needs as far as flexibility and pay. I have to make sure that I leave a good impression at all times so that I can constantly receive contracts with companies. I have to actually do the work and sometimes this is a full day affair! Some field work has me on the road for hours and then the office piece is just as long, if not longer.

I try to make a presence on life in some sort of full time capacity and we all know how hard that can be.

Three full time things and a possible (Spades).. phew. I am tired

If you tried to add all of the man hours up and see how much time I actually spend parenting, learning, working and, blogging, tweeting, Instagraming and, Facebooking then you my friend are a brave soul! If you actually garnered a figure from all of this then you are a mathematician!  AND finally, if you have managed to find some “me time” in this equation then I really need your number because we need to talk!

I didn’t decide this! Today’s round table discussion

We sit at the table for every meal. That is the one thing that will always be. Having dinner as a family allows for better bonds and gives us a chance to catch up. Now, at this point in their lives they are not at the age where we actually need the “catch-up” time but it’s better to keep the habit than to try to forge it in the future.

Tonight at the round table the discussion centered on what they thought they had for concrete memories from their infancy.

Baby B says he certainly remembers a white gate surrounding him and his maternal grandmother holding him.

Baby A had no input.

Single Birth kid remembers the baby gate and me leaving him there. He was brought to tears when he tried to explain that he remembers me leaving him in the gated area and that he did not want to leave me at that time. He stopped there, apparently this was a very painful memory.

I explained to them that the gate was there because having three kids in diapers running around is not only chaotic but also dangerous. They would run around the house and attempt to pull everything down that was above their eye-line and within their reach. After all, someone had to cook dinner.

I was asked by Baby B why I chose him to be born last and I could hardly hold back the laughter. I tried to explain to him how when the doctors found the two heart beats and the two sacks and double everything, they had to label them A and B so that they could track the growth and development. He questioned why they didn’t take him out first anyhow just so he could be born first. I was lost for explanation but reiterated the labeling process and how it was just normal to remove A before B.. Alphabetical order!

I then retreated to the living room and opened the wall safe so that they could see and hold their certificate of live birth. This was when things got funny. They are reading and chatting about every bit of information on the forms. They are shocked that the doctors spelled their names right (they have a problem in school with correct spelling) I explained that this was the first time their names were spelled for them and the data clerks just put in the information that I filled out.

And then a screech!

MOM WHAT IS THIS?!?! I WE HAVE BEEN CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY ON JULY 2ND BUT THIS SAYS JULY 3RD!!!

HAHAA oh kid.. that’s just the day they entered/received the information for the certificate. Boy was he traumatized for like a minute. But could you imagine?!? Sometimes I think my birth year is off by one year!

Real story for you. I was up at my uncles house visiting with my aunt and my other uncle said something about birthdays and my mother said his to which he replied with a different date. She said she thought his BD was XX time and he said… So did I! but then I found out it was XX instead! OMG I would just flip.

Wait a minute… I have a joke for you

So… A lawyer, a cop, and a social worker walk into a meeting room….

HaHa right??

Yes! that was my shock tonight at the first day of training for the Court Appointed Special Advocate Project.

I thought that I would be in a room of people that had no clue about many things and we would all learn this task together and become one and help the world. This was not the case. We were tasked with pairing up with the person next to us, conducting an interview and then introducing them to the rest of the class. Of course you all know that I have a wonderful fear of public speaking, but as I addressed the other day, I needed to find the source of the fear and kill it dead… I paired up with my neighbor who we shall call Bertha, for the time being. She is an older lady who has been married forever and was a technical writer with a BA in English and a MBA in something else. She is a retired lady who volunteer with a prison program. She was to my left.

To my right was a former police officer that did some work within the prison community. To her right was a social worker that is trying to get back into the field. To her right was a teacher of teachers, lol, for special needs persons. To her right was a lady that I didn’t really get too much information on because I was distracted by her Donald Trump pin. To her right was a attorney who is married to an attorney!

So can you see how I would be a little intimidated. All of these ladies (except for Trump lady) live in the more….. Expensive???? towns and here I sat. The sole minority from the city who grew up with kids who have been through the system. I have experienced, probably, a good majority, of what we will be dealing with. I have a super undergrad (I think they call that some college) and I and working on finishing my undergrad right now. I was, admittedly, intimidated but I feel like I held my own.

Here, let me distract you with my quick whit and Associate’s while I obtain this Bachelor degree.

 

 

For the Love of Mohawk

IMG_20160417_1334428_rewindThings don’t always go as planned. This is definitely evident in my life. I have learned a few things because of this. I have learned to go with the flow, and I have learned to cut my losses.

I stumbled across a magnificent little road trip that was all planned out and I really wanted to do it. Admittedly, it is probably not a road trip built for children, especially ones that don’t usually take long road trips. I saw this trip in my Facebook feed and you can find it on the website, it’s called The Ultimate Massachusetts Waterfalls Road Trip.

They have one for other states as well. The trip in total has about an 8 hour drive time and so it is a trip that would take your entire day, if you start very very early. We planned to set three days aside for the trip because there are 9 different locations and I knew the kids would never last the whole day. We made lunches and everything yesterday and planned to leave around ten this morning.

We got up and had a huge breakfast and hit the road right on time. Our first stop was Doane Falls, in Royalston. We made it there successfully and found a great place to park. The “hike” was not so much a hike and we found the falls quickly. The sounds of the falls was wonderful and the view was great too. We didn’t hike any of the unstable(not paved) terrain because it was just me and I couldn’t help them all so we saw and photographed, laughed and ate. I thought this was a great start.

We headed to our second destination. This is when plans became as fluid as the falls. We happened to catch a glimpse of some other streams and rivers as we drove right through the Mohawk Trails. We stopped and ran around a bunch of different places on the trail, played with sticks and found that the bathrooms are definitely locked if the gate is closed to vehicles.

We found out that carved statues can make mom make an illegal U-turn.

We learned the meaning of false advertising.

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And that sometimes you just need a break..

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And that when you think you’ve reached home, you may actually be about 58 miles away.

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That says Ingleside but it is nowhere near CrazyTownLane.

We had a fantastic day of love, laughs, and nature. We even played alphabet food 3 times, alphabet famous people once, and alphabet drinks twice, on our two hour trip back home.

Spring Where’d You Go?

I was so ready for the warmer weather, mother nature had other plans! It snowed yesterday and that was the just the beginning. We woke up this morning to a winter wonderland in progress. I checked the news only to see that every school surrounding us had been cancelled but we were still a go. Because it was day one of MCAS for the oldest kid, I couldn’t very well keep them home today. Off we went.

We got to the hill and I crossed my fingers. You see, my tires are kind of crappy and don’t do so well in the snow. I tried to make my way up but was shunned as soon as I reached the incline. We slid around for a little bit, but I knew, right then, we needed another plan. I gathered my thoughts and took a deep breath.

With the school in sight, I readied the fellas. I told them that they would just have to walk up the hill. There was really no way around it.  I could sense the hesitation in the oldest but the younger two were ready and willing. I pulled into the drive of an apartment build. At this location, I was out of the way of on coming traffic and I could see the school as well. I let them go.

I am not much of a crier for the most part but this had me in tears. I had never let my children walk anywhere alone, let alone on a snowy day when cars are sliding about. I waited in that spot until I could no longer see the bright red coat of the oldest kid. I cried as I drove down the hill.

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I gave them about 15 minutes to get to their destination and then I called the school to see if they had went to the office for late slips as I asked them to do. They had arrived! All in one piece.

I guess the crying was because I knew I had to let them go to let them grow. I don’t shelter them from  any conversation topic that  they can muster and I bring some “grown up” ones up myself, but I have never left them to their own devices. In fact, the oldest just asked me all about pregnancy cravings yesterday!

I guess I am better prepared for next time. Oh and I hate this snow madness.

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Broken Hearted

Three days ago I decided to become a volunteer. It is only Monday so I haven’t heard from any just yet but I am hopeful I will make the cut. I think the chances are good for a few reasons:

1. I am great with people, especially kids!

2. I have children and raise them well so I think that experience will be advantageous.

3.The system is so bogged down and overwhelmed, why would they ever turn away someone willing to put in the work for FREE!!!

Here is a piece of the confirmation email I received after contacting:

I am excited to learn that you are interested in becoming a CASA volunteer. As a CASA volunteer, you will be empowered to fight for the rights of children during the most vulnerable time in their young lives-a specially trained advocate, appointed by a judge, to ensure that each child is well cared for and able to have a safe, loving, permanent home.

Trust me when I say that this not completely a selfless act… I mean, what is that really. This is not like when I buy the guy behind me a coffee this one is also to my benefit.

They offer 30 hours of training for the work which is, in my opinion, a free college course. I will be able to get my feet wet. I will have already seen what it like to work with children so when the practicums come, I will not be sent into shock. Finally, I will feel good about being able to help out the system and the children that are in the system even if only at my entry level capacity.

Tonight, however, I was on the phone with him. He wanted to say good night to the boys (it’s kind of his thing) and as soon as we got on the phone we heard the sounds of, what my youngest called, a screaming monkey…. or, what my oldest called, a screaming goat! We laughed and laughed about the 3 year old who was less than happy on the south east coast.

They said their good nights and I took the call out of the room. We continue on with our chatter when I hear the young child scream “gimme my money!!! gimme my money now bish”…. my jaw dropped almost instantaneously. I gasp a little and then asked what the hell that was, just hoping I misheard. But no! I heard correctly and guess what….. He had a toy gun pointed in his face while the kid was screaming those words. I asked where the parents were and he mentioned living room. We had a small talk about how totally horrible we both thought this was and discussed learned behavior and mimicry.

This makes me worry for so many reasons!

Why the heck does this kid know those words? Did he see these actions on television or worse, in life? Why don’t the parents check that behavior and maybe consider a time out on toy guns? Is he in danger down there? What happens if the boy gets hands on a real gun?

This is exactly the reason why I wanted to go into law enforcement, why I thought being a PI was an interesting field for me, and why I decided psychology is what I need to be focused on, and exactly why I would love to volunteer for CASA.

People need to break the cycle; the cycle of violence, the cycle of teen pregnancies, the cycle of 8 kids by 5 guys!!!! None of which are even remotely good role models.

My heart broke over the phone tonight. I can’t wait to kiss my kids in the morning!

We are not focused on “gimme my money” #ourCurrentSituation

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I found this and thought I was a great teaching tool and affirmation and so, at night, we 4 read one each and in the morning we do it again. #DoBetter