I just had to have the worlds most difficult conversation with my children. My throat still has the hugest lump in it from fighting back the tears. I have had to have many of conversations with them about things but this one was long overdue. We/they don’t have the most things in the world, but I have pretty much been able to get away with getting them the things they request. Years ago it started with the X-box 360 and all the games that go with it, plus the connect. They have had PSP’s and tablets and more tablets and handheld Nintendo game thingy. They got a Wii for Christmas a couple years ago and a Wii-U for this Christmas that just past. They have a PlayStation 3 now and games galore. Movies and oh yeah, there are the phones that I am now missing two of.
Today I have reached my limit. Castle Crashers, a $15 downloadable game that I have told them they could not get today. My oldest, and arguable the most spoiled of the bunch, asked me to put it on my credit card. I asked him if he had the money to pay the card and he looked shocked. Like it just comes from nowhere. They talked my ear off at breakfast about this game and how they have it at their dad’s house. I listened for about an hour and they enjoy the game. This was before the “put it on your card” request.
I made some grilled cheese, grilled ham and cheese with a side of sliced green and red apples and green and red grapes for lunch. Just as soon as this lunch was consumed, the oldest asked… “Can I have a snack?” I told him no, he just had lunch and I moved on from it. He then comes to me in a whine, saying how he doesn’t know what to do now, he would like to know when they were going to dad’s house. I kind of lost it.
I didn’t yell or scream, I just talked. I walked through the house cutting off the X-box, and then the Wii-U and took away the phone and tablet. I explained to them about the need to appreciate the things they have, that needing more all the time is just not a sign of appreciation. I was told that they did appreciate their things, but I think somewhere along the line I have been trying to overcompensate for the ending of the marriage by giving them “things”. Well times have changed, it is time that I be the mom that I should’ve been and set some rules and guidelines for this behavior.
Helping and Healing 