Every time i come to Maine I imagine that i must be close enough to Canada to just go. I wonder if Canada would accept me with open arms. With the past months frustrations and the current administration, Canada is certainly on my mind.
I don’t know if I’ll ever move past these feelings. I know, eventually, I’ll feel less angry, less frustrated and a little more normal but for now I’m sitting in “i told you so” and “you should have listened”.
Here’s my problem… I think that, when i speak, people who I’m talking to must say in their heads “she think she knows everything” but what they fail to notice is that i rarely speak unless i know EXACTLY what I’m talking about… Unless, of course, it’s to gain knowledge on something i don’t know. I’m rarely a bitch for bitches sake unless I’m extremely bored so when i come off as bitching it’s because i know what I’m talking about, you’re not listening and, eventually it’s going to effect me personally.
So my anger is because i bitched abd bitched for months and NO ONE LISTENED and now I’m stuck cleaning up a mess i tried, begged, screamed, to avoid.
It’s like telling someone, dude don’t park so close repeatedly until they inevitability hit something and hand you the bill.
Anyone who knows me knows I’m super reserved and only speak when i clearly need to.
Just an fyi, I’m gonna be in my feelings until I’m not. I will rant until such time as i feel whole again. I will get back to my serene place. I just wish i knew when.
The battle is real! The president odd the united states of America tweets way too much, for me… But in that, he also gives us some real insider knowledge if you have any interest in a glimpse of the mind of a undiagnosed narcissist.
After bullying person after person, today he tweeted that people that are transgender are going to be disallowed to serve in the military.
Just look at who y’all voted for
As hell week comes to a close (hopefully) i want to make this occasion by partaking in some open self reflection.
As you may or may not know (or care) i have been going through the most this July. I mean some serious ‘break you down down’ kind of stuff.
I feel like I’ve reached the summit.
I have noticed something interesting about myself at this tumultuous time in my life. I have learned that i tend to go way beyond solution.
problem; new 500 dollar addition to an already skin tight budget.
Norm solution; pick up a couple extra hours
My solution; work day and night to meet, exceed, demolish, new bill
You may not see a problem with that but what you don’t see is that everything else has now been placed on the bank burner and will eventually overwhelm me leading to burn out and anxiety and a whole host of unneeded stress.
What i need is to find a balance and be okay with meeting and not always over achieving. I think i could benefit from a not so likeminded person to just say hey… Close your eyes and breathe.
What i could use is that☝
walked into cumberland farms and overheard the brotha in blue giving a youngster the most inspired pep talk.
He shared part of his story and encouraged looking inward for happiness, that seeking it outwardly is simply a waste of time.
I smiled as i made my way to the register. He reminded me of myself. I think i needed that reminder.
I seriously can’t wait until this period is behind me.
I have certainly learned a lot this time and I’m fairly positive that i have mastered the ones that i seemed to have disregarded last time around.
Although, i have noticed that there are things that you place on my path that seem irresistible or a definite cure for boredom, i will not partake. I promise!!!
I just want things to settle back down now