As you may or may not know, my ex-husband is having another child. I wrote about this the other day in An Emotional Hijacking. I think I am finally coming down from the shock. I was in complete shock because he can barely keep his head above water and it makes no sense to me why he would choose to have a child when he can barely afford to live, himself.
I had him “babysit” for me today. He hates when I ask him to babysit because he is their father and it is technically not babysitting, but lets face it, sometimes I can be a real douche. That was my passive aggressive way of getting back at him for sending me into a state of shock. Either way, I bring the children out to his girlfriends house and they hadn’t arrive at the complex yet, so the kids and I played car games while we waited. They finally show up and all pile out of the very tiny Chrysler PT cruiser and it felt like 9 children started barreling towards my car. It took all I had not to speed off!
The girl says, “hi”
and I’m like, “Hi sweetheart, how are you today?”
She says….. “I want to sleep over your house”.
Me: Okay, that’s cool… How old are you?
Me: Ohhh good, because that means you’re potty trained and that’s perfect.
Her: My mommy’s pregnant
Me: I heard about that… How excited you must be, huh?
Her: Yeah, I hope it’s a girl because I am the only girl…. Oh I like (my middle) soooo much. He’s amazing.
Me: Yeah, I think so too!
Her: Is it okay if I say I love him? because I am in love with him
Ex: We talked about this, he is your brother now, so you love him like a brother right?
Newbie: OMG… Her feelings are so intense…
Me: hmm Yep they are, (side eye)
Newbie: But we are keeping a close eye on this.
I head along my route just thinking that this family definitely needs some assistance. When I got back to pick the boys up 2 hours or so later, the ex was the only adult that came out. I was glad about this because we really needed to have a chat. He tried to explain to me how clingy the little girl is, how all of his exes kids are.. I kind of cut him off (this is my way) and simply told him that he needs to get to the bottom of this. See, in my opinion, a 7 year old child should not attribute those feelings to a relationship of an adult nature. She shouldn’t want to marry my child at such a young age. She shouldn’t be “in love” which was her term, with any child. I don’t believe that you develop those feelings until later on in life, and definitely not at 7!
Oh and side note: Newbie tells me that her youngest (4) says that I am his girlfriend. He even ran outside, without shoes on his feet, to see me off! Call me overly cautious because of my history or my current field of aspiration, but someone needs to find out where those kids got these thoughts and feelings from at such a young age. Maybe it’s Newbies haste to be under guy after guy…. There is a reason why I did not bring anyone around my children after their father and I separated and before the current situation. It is that fact that kids do not need to see things flighty or even slightly flighty when it comes to relationships. I am a true believer in only bringing something that will be lasting around your children. Therefore, if Him and I don’t work out, my children won’t meet a new fella… Ever….
And now for the gem of the day…. My youngest asked me:
“Mom, when Newbies baby comes, I wonder if it will live with Newbie, or will it live with Dad, or will it live with You?” ….. <— That deserves a post of it’s own, stay tuned.