By far, my favorite website to visit is Psychology Today. I love, love, love it!
Today I happened upon another list. I should start calling them guidelines for specific situations because list doesn’t doesn’t seem to cover how I feel about them.
This list is “9 Things you should do who someone has hurt you”
- Recognize the offense for what it is
- Resist the tendency to defend your position.
- Give up the need to be right.
- Recognize and apologize for anything you may have done to contribute to the situation.
- Respond, don’t react.
- Adopt an attitude of bridge-building as opposed to attacking or retreating.
- Realize that you may be the target of someone’s anger but not the source of it.
- Create personal limits.***This is part of reclaiming your personal power. You have the right to define what your limits are—and insist that they be respected. ***
- Realize that even if someone has hurt you, that need not take away your personal happiness. Remember, you are in charge of your attitude and response. You can get over it and go on. If the hurt was unintentional, ask yourself, “Why am I magnifying it by holding on to it?” If the hurt was intentional and forgiven, ask yourself, “If the person has asked for my forgiveness and moved on, why am I still stuck in the pain?” If the hurt was intentional and unforgiven, tell yourself, “I choose to forgive the pain the person caused me so I can move past it.” Then reassert yourself and determine to be happy. That’s a choice you should reserve for yourself.
#8 and #9 are my favorites of this list! Please head on over to Psychology Today for all the descriptions