She could feel it as it happened, as the wall she built so firmly was being taken apart brick by brick. She had once been so steadfast, so resolute in her decision and yet, here she stood, heart exposed. This was not a result of a jack hammer or some other rudimentary tool you would expect a wall to succumb to. This equipment was much worse because it was as soft as a feather and as gentle as a warm kiss from the summer sun.
She didn’t plan for this, but here it was. Standing right in front of her was a decision that would undoubtedly be life altering. She was able to cling tight to the final layer of bricks that falsely protected her from the grasp of emotional connectivity, until such time as she pressed play on the message.
Why didn’t she simply not touch that triangle graphic, thus ensuring another day of pretending she had full control of her emotions? It seemed fated, destined, kismet, it was written in the stars.
The truth is, she had no control. She was merely moving through the world with a false sense of security over her heart. She had been unmasked in that moment and he knew it. Like the lamb laying with the lion, she was already done for. She is unable to turn back now, there is no running from this, her soul won’t let her.
We try so hard, on a daily basis, to fight the things that we want or need. We diet, basically deny ourselves pleasures. We exercise extensively as if death will no longer be inevitable. We pretend that all is well, even if we are crying inside. We build massive walls around our hearts to protect us from pain but these walls no only block hurt, they block love as well.