Pretendicons- top 5 Most aggravating “people things”

5. Exaggerated emotions

It’s okay to just be on a “normal” emotional level. You didn’t really fall in love on day one, and that’s fine. You may even have “strong feelings” or “love for” but “in love” is an exaggeration Bae. People often enjoy saying “I hate”… I’m sure a strong dislike for something is frustrating but do you really hate that thing? What ever did that thing do to you? If it’s that bad, change it! Woe is me, the world is against me…. Please stop with your god complex you are just a tenth of a fraction of the worlds population and so the “world” is probably not against you…. Maybe you should check your energy though because karma may be making it’s way back around.

4. Frienimies

Those lovely people who will be in a three way conversation at one moment and as soon as 1 of the 3 walks away…here comes the gossip. I see this way too often. What deep down inside of you being is so tortured by this person that you feel the need to belittle and defame? I think that maybe people need to do a little more self-evaluation and try to work out the kinks within their own self-esteem so they don’t feel as though they need to lower someone else in an effort to lift themselves.

3.Sunny Snow Days

Snow is cold, Sun is hot…. I look out the window and see the sun shining and it’s wonderful (third floor living) and then I walk out to 18″ of snow. It confuses my senses.

2. Damsel in distress

STOP WAITING FOR HIM TO SAVE YOU! Try standing on your own two feet.. We have come a long way from the housewife days and, although I really wish I was born in that time period, I have very little respect for those who don’t try to have the ability to make it on their own. This is not to say you need to “rep independent chick” or say “I don’t need no (wo)man” but at least be prepared to carry the weight if your (wo)man needs the assist. For example, separated from my ex-husband had great paying DBA in less than a week. Decided to downgrade my jobs and go to school while trusting Archer to pick up the end… We know how that story goes… but switched majors, picked up 2 different “jobs” back to business. It’s called self-reliance. When the going gets tough….

1. Playing dumb

This is by far #1 most annoying thing someone can pretend to do. For whatever reason, people like to have others do things for them. It’s not that they don’t possess the ability to do something for themselves, it’s that they’re (1.)too lazy to or (2) too lazy to! You, my friend are not mentally disabled and you have been alive as longer than this thing we call the internet so please don’t call me acting like you have no idea what’s going on so that I can walk you through or do it for you. Grow up. I am helpful yes! I do know a lot about a lot of random things and I learn something new everyday but….. I don’t have time to do a google search for you for a phone number…. Push your damn Siri or Giri (Siri knockoff) button and ask your damn smartphone please.

Don’t waste my time..

From this day forward my personal assistant rate applies. No more free services.. $78 an hour, 1hr minimum charge even if the work only takes 30 seconds of my time. I will also apply a $1.20 per mile rate if I have to go anywhere for anything.


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