How are you this evening?
I read your post and my heart goes out to you. I am divorced. I have been through the grief that is the ending of a relationship. I also dealt a lot with the worry of how divorce would affect our children. It was 2009 when we first separated and our divorce was final in 2011. I remember the breathless I felt the day we decided to split and I felt as though I was grasping at straws to find some way to make it work out.
I will tell you that it does work out. Either way the ball rolls is the way in which it is meant to roll. In the moment, it seems as though it will be a never-ending heartache and we will surely perish from it, however, the moment I realized that I had lived the first 18 years of my life AND survived I stopped grasping and fretting. I decided that whichever way our relationship went would be right for the both of us and our children. Turns out truth. We have a very strong relationship as friends and co-parents (after some major processing of course) and I think I have grown a lot in the process.
Second situation. I know of many people that go through tough times with their spouse and through time, effort, and some work things are resolved quite nicely.
I hope that you have many more days of calm and peace