My, how powerful this sentiment is. How much I needed to see these words. It’s not as if the information that I received today would not have gotten to me in it’s time. Now that I have it, I have to hold it secret because it is not public knowledge. I think, maybe, that this information and the stress of not being able to speak out about it, is the physical manifestation that is my new abdominal pains 😦 My heart is heavy, yet I subdue this information enough so that I will not have a breakdown of the mental variety.
I am, as you know, studying to become a psychotherapist so I know that the way I am processing (or not processing) this information is nothing less than unhealthy.
I am grateful that I have been allowed the opportunity to deal with the harsh realities, however, very angry that I have to deal alone in it. no one knows, so who am I to process with? What’s worse is; I was saddled with this information because my source was handed it in the same manner the previous evening.
This, my friends, is our human way of offloading the things we can’t carry. We simply hand them off to someone else.
To someone we think is strong enough to hold the weight. I have been that person my entire life; that person able to carry the weight. People just hand me stuff. Well this weight…. I don’t want this one. I think, due to recent processing and examining myself and, yes, setting boundaries…. I don’t want to carry this one alone.
Source: You have to let it out to heal