Race and Dating

I’ve been staying away from Facebook lately, I have actually been doing pretty good at it. I think I do this because it is usually saturated with negativity. I check once, maybe twice a day..

This morning I checked Facebook and a friend of mine (more like family) posts questions posed to him via messenger and other sources and asks his network to weigh in. This gives insight to the poster from multiple respondents.

Side Note: This is my goal with this blog so email me askcrazytown@aol.com and ask away

This mornings question I chose not to weigh in via Facebook rather I chose to post my response here… Here’s the question:

 Chuck, peep game. Im early 30s, handsome dude, no kids, no BM drama etc. I prefer to date outside of my race. I dont see myself marrying a black chick. In fact…. Its not gonna happen. For whatever reason, i never had any luck with them dating when i was younger and personally,if im gonna be honest… most of them let themselves go after 30 unlike many asian, white and some hispanic women. Either that or they have babby daddy drama or some other bullshit going on. The problem is, my moms and aunts feel a way about it. At this point, they just shake their head, but obviously i hatve the right to date who i want and who i think is gonna make me happy. Am i the bad guy here?

Personally, I haven’t dated much within my race. I married a Caucasian man and had 3 kids. I dated a couple of other white guys before and after my marriage and subsequent divorce. Previously I would have co-signed this statement mentioning that I hate the “yo ma” approach that I get. I’ve always felt uncomfortable trying to match that tone and often felt like I didn’t fit in with “my own people”. Then I thought about it. Why did I feel this way? What makes me feel so different and why didn’t I speak like that? I mean, I should right? The answer is simple. My network and social circle are small. When I say small, I mean miniscule. I haven’t ventured out into the world really, so why should I expect to stumble across a like-minded man who doesn’t “yo ma” me when I basically live in the “trap”. I also realized that it’s not just the black guys in the “trap” that “yo ma” me it’s ALL the guys. It’s the community in which I reside and don’t venture far from and thus I should expand my horizons if I want to come across a person (not just man) of any race (not just black) to start a conversation with something other than “yo ma”.

My advice for this man is just that, expand your horizons my friend! examine your surroundings and the people that you interact with. Date who you want to date but don’t group people because people, all shapes, sizes and breeding are different. Also to him I pose one question: Is that how you feel about your mother, sister, aunt and grandmother?

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