Challenge failed

I signed up to take a 30 day challenge the other day created by Collective Evolution. This challenge is pretty much learning to live and be with yourself for an hour, uninterrupted. Although I think this would be a very productive challenge, I think that my life may be too busy at this point. I work these over nights and try to sleep the day away when off. I go to school Monday-Thursday and that leaves the rest of the time for children and home. I love having alone time and so this is in fact the perfect challenge for me, I wish I could do it! I think that I would not be able to commit to all 30 of the days. The weekends would be horribly difficult and the only day that I think I could manage to squeeze some me-time would be Friday mornings. I do miss being able to just reflect on the day or meditate or just curl up with a blanket and something to read (haven’t done that in years).

As an self diagnosed introvert, I am craving some alone time. Time to just recharge and feel just my energy.

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Poetry

The Calm Before A Storm by Shana – Family Friend Poems

Empathy or torture?

I found it! I found it! the most detailed way of expressing what I live through on a daily basis. I ran across this article on Facebook, and through The mind Unleashed. Now I don’t know if I would technically classify myself as “empathic” but I would certainly say I relate to a lot of the things that I read in the article.

Here are 30 of the most common traits: From The Mind Unleashed

1. Knowing: Empaths just know stuff, without being told. It’s a knowing that goes way beyond intuition or gut feelings, even though that is how many would describe the knowing. The more attuned they are the stronger this gift becomes.

-I think that this is the hardest part

2. Being in public places can be overwhelming: Places like shopping malls, supermarkets or stadiums where there are lots of people around can fill the empath with turbulently vexed emotions that are coming from others.

-YES! can not stand being in large groups.

3. Feeling others emotions and taking them on as your own: This is a huge one for empaths. To some they will feel emotions off those near by and with others they will feel emotions from those a vast distance away, or both. The more adept empath will know if someone is having bad thoughts about them, even from great distance.

-This is what gets me in a lot of trouble! It’s mostly bad feelings and they drive me nuts and I seem a little nuts, BUT the moment that energy is away from me I feel like I was never even mad to begin with.

4. Watching violence, cruelty or tragedy on the TV is unbearable: The more attuned an empath becomes the worse it is and may make it so they eventually have to stop watching TV and reading newspapers altogether.

5. You know when someone is not being honest: If a friend or a loved one is telling you lies you know it (although many empaths try not to focus on this because knowing a loved one is lying can be painful). Or if someone is saying one thing but feeling/thinking another, you know.

-This one hits far to close to home. I usually try to push past the thought because I mean how the heck can you really prove someone is actively lying to you? They are obviously going to deny it! UNLESS you have hard-core, concrete evidence which is sometimes the case with me, but then I have to weigh the pros and cons. It doesn’t feel good to look into someones eyes and know they are actually lying to you.

6. Picking up physical symptoms off another: An empath will almost always develop the ailments off another (colds, eye infections, body aches and pains) especially those they’re closest to, somewhat like sympathy pains.

-I’m not to sure about this one, how could one really know?

7. Digestive disorders and lower back problems: The solar plexus chakra is based in the centre of the abdomen and it’s known as the seat of emotions. This is where empaths feel the incoming emotion of another, which can weaken the area and eventually lead to anything from stomach ulcers to IBS (too many other conditions to list here). Lower back problems can develop from being ungrounded (amongst other things) and one, who has no knowledge of them being an empath, will almost always be ungrounded.

-again, how could one really tell.

8. Always looking out for the underdog: Anyone whose suffering, in emotional pain or being bullied draws an empath’s attention and compassion.

-This is definitely my style.

9. Others will want to offload their problems on you, even strangers: An empath can become a dumping ground for everyone else’s issues and problems, which, if they’re not careful can end up as their own.

-If you only knew! I couldn’t tell you how many things people tell me. I want to say, “buddy, whats’s your name?” but people need to unload, and I can shake most of it off.

10. Constant fatigue: Empaths often get drained of energy, either from energy vampires or just taking on too much from others, which even sleep will not cure. Many get diagnosed with ME.

-YES! YES! YES

11. Addictive personality: Alcohol, drugs, sex, are to name but a few addictions that empaths turn to, to block out the emotions of others. It is a form of self protection in order to hide from someone or something.

-Scratch tickets and casinos lmao.. sad but true.

12. Drawn to healing, holistic therapies and all things metaphysical: Although many empaths would love to heal others they can end up turning away from being healers (even though they have a natural ability for it), after they’ve studied and qualified, because they take on too much from the one they are trying to heal. Especially if they are unaware of their empathy. Anything of a supernatural nature is of interest to empaths and they don’t surprise or get shocked easily. Even at the revelation of what many others would consider unthinkable, for example, empaths would have known the world was round when others believed it was flat.

-Well massage therapy is my new adventure, post policing dreams.

13. Creative: From singing, dancing, acting, drawing or writing an empath will have a strong creative streak and a vivid imagination.

– 🙂 🙂

14. Love of nature and animals: Being outdoors in nature is a must for empaths and pets are an essential part of their life.

– I do have a cat, it’s evil but I have it! I love my fish though, always have fish around, they are good luck I think.

15. Need for solitude: An empath will go stir-crazy if they don’t get quiet time. This is even obvious in empathic children.

OMG this is so me! I don’t ever get it unless i’m going to and from work or school. I’m pretty sure I have a child that will questioning all the same things that I have throughout my journey.

16. Gets bored or distracted easily if not stimulated: Work, school and home life has to be kept interesting for an empath or they switch off from it and end up daydreaming or doodling.

-Yes but I manage to figure it all out and I get through just fine.

17. Finds it impossible to do things they don’t enjoy: As above. Feels like they are living a lie by doing so. To force an empath to do something they dislike through guilt or labelling them as idle will only serve in making them unhappy. It’s for this reason many empaths get labelled as being lazy.

-or boring! I love that one…

18. Strives for the truth: This becomes more prevalent when an empath discovers his/her gifts and birthright. Anything untruthful feels plain wrong.

-yes this is where i’m at.

19. Always looking for the answers and knowledge: To have unanswered questions can be frustrating for an empath and they will endeavour to find an explanation. If they have a knowing about something they will look for confirmation. The downside to this is an information overload.

-Check!

20. Likes adventure, freedom and travel: Empaths are free spirits.

-I think I fit in here… Sometimes

21. Abhors clutter: It makes an empath feel weighed down and blocks the flow of energy.

22. Loves to daydream: An empath can stare into space for hours, in a world of their own and blissfully happy.

23. Finds routine, rules or control, imprisoning: Anything that takes away their freedom is debilitating to an empath even poisoning.

24. Prone to carry weight without necessarily overeating: The excess weight is a form of protection to stop the negative incoming energies having as much impact.

25. Excellent listener: An empath won’t talk about themselves much unless it’s to someone they really trust. They love to learn and know about others and genuinely care.

-yup

26. Intolerance to narcissism: Although kind and often very tolerant of others, empaths do not like to be around overly egotistical people, who put themselves first and refuse to consider another’s feelings or points of view other than their own.

-HAHAHAHAHA This is such a true story!!!

27. The ability to feel the days of the week: An empath will get the ‘Friday Feeling’ if they work Fridays or not. They pick up on how the collective are feeling. The first couple of days of a long, bank holiday weekend (Easter for example) can feel, to them, like the world is smiling, calm and relaxed. Sunday evenings, Mondays and Tuesdays, of a working week, have a very heavy feeling.

-Yes here too

28. Will not choose to buy antiques, vintage or second-hand: Anything that’s been pre-owned carries the energy of the previous owner. An empath will even prefer to have a brand new car or house (if they are in the financial situation to do so) with no residual energy.

29. Sense the energy of food: Many empaths don’t like to eat meat or poultry because they can feel the vibrations of the animal (especially if the animal suffered), even if they like the taste.

30. Can appear moody, shy, aloof, disconnected: Depending on how an empath is feeling will depend on what face they show to the world. They can be prone to mood swings and if they’ve taken on too much negative will appear quiet and unsociable, even miserable. An empath detests having to pretend to be happy when they’re sad, this only adds to their load (makes working in the service industry, when it’s service with a smile, very challenging) and can make them feel like scuttling under a stone.

-As of lately I’ve been skirting my moods… Leaves me with a huge headache on the top of my head!

I think that you should definitely check out the Mind Unleashed

Mr. Robot

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I’m not really sure what this is but I’m going to dig and find out what Mr. Robot is and what he is doing in the world. This may very well be a virus, or some sort of hacker or cult like thing. I will keep you posted.

world’s dumbest criminals

Tonight was the most exciting, adrenalin fueled night at western… I was sitting in the office completely all of my homework for school when two gentlemen entered. I stayed put because I really didn’t want to help check them in. I was watching their reflection through the glad and I noticed that suspect A, “Benny” was shaking uncontrollably. That was my cue to head over. He had a ton of lesions over his visible body, grossed me out! He was sweating profusely and shaking like a leaf. I knew I didn’t want them here but the clerk kept trying to check them in. His credit cards were all declining, which was the perfect excuse to turn them away but she kept lowering the amount to try and get them in. Suspect B asked to use the restroom. Something told me earlier this evening not to lock the hall bathrooms like usual.. I’m guessing this was it. Suspect B went to find the bathrooms and came back a while later. With a no go on the cards the men left. Suspect B came back after five minutes and looked around the lobby and they exchanged words in Spanish through the door and left the premises. I went to start my rounds and upon racing the hall bathrooms I spot a white ball on the floor

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They seemed to have dropped their drugs. I returned to the lobby, told the clerk to lock the door and call the police. The police came and we explained the situation and I showed him around. He left and five minutes later the suspects returned!!! They came top a locked door and didn’t put up too much of a fight to get in. Police were called again of course..

Sucks for them because

1. They lost their stuff

2. The police are driving by frequently now

3. We have all of their info because they were checking in!!

Armed with license, address, full name, I hope the police are able to apprehend them and they can get some much needed help.

Lazy Saturday, Reiki Sunday

If any one was even remotely curious as to how I spent my Saturday, this picture pretty much sums it up.

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I could not manage to get a grasp on my motivation today. I think it was because I had gotten home around 7:45am and even though I just threw on pj’s and went to sleep, I was awake around 11am. My eyes felt like they were on fire but things needed to be done, ie; dishes, cleaning, etc,

Three hours of sleep or less!

Either way, I let the kids veg out on video games (minecraft) and I stayed there, under the blankets, only getting up to do the dishes and grab an occasional snack or drink. I did go back to sleep this evening around 8pm and got up again around 9:30 to shower and ready myself for work. Needless to say, I am spending some quality time on Craigslist this working shift.

Next thing on my list of things to do while I waste time at this place; teach myself Reiki Massage: Self massage hand positions.

I case I haven’t mentioned this, I’m taking massage therapy classes so that I can become a licensed massage therapist. I am big into natural healing and a complete believer in energy therapy.

Reiki is a traditional Japanese massage. I’m just researching it for myself so I don’t know a great deal about it, but there are a variety of websites that talk a little about it, such as Reiki.org

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Either way, 5 hours and 2 minutes still remain in my day here at “The Western” so I plan to learn some things while here.

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Side note: People please “chat me up” I literally sit here for eight hours, walk around the place once every two hours and I am running out of Netflix shows to keep me from falling asleep.

Going Western and Crazy at the same time

Back at it again I guess. In fact, I am so shocked that I wasn’t more adamant about finding a new job seeing how I’m still shocked by last weekend. One would think that I would have immediately quit this place and kept it moving. I mean, that was a very heavy weekend for sure. I still do not know how to process this place, this job, this choice I have made. I think that I may have stayed on this weekend because I need to see how some things shake out. No matter how bad I crave being home, I need to know that I can be away from home and home not fall apart. It’s pretty safe to say that home almost burned to the ground last weekend. I just need to be sure that those fires have been put out and there are no “flames” or “extreme heat” left and this is the only way.

Anyhow, I am back at hotel kill me now and some interesting things have been discovered. There are some rowdy youth in one of the rooms, they have already received some noise complaints! There is a lady somewhere that has a pit bull. Sounds like its not such a big deal but I think she told the front desk that no one should enter her room because the dog is a rescue and would certainly bite or “give someone a run for their money”. The girl that gave me this information says “if that dog bites me, I’m going to sue her”, I wanted to inform her that it’s more likely that the hotel would be held liable because they allowed her to stay here with said dog.

I’m dreading this evening, but I just keep saying to myself that it will be over in no time and I will be fast asleep.

a8d5cc62c6ce64648d1cc25fb1d9d002I saw this the other day and needed to add it here. I think that people make the most mistakes when they underestimate others. I, for sure, should never be underestimated. People should probably assume I know everything. I am a mom and the moment you become a mom you grow eyes in the back of your head.

On top of being a mother, I am very intuitive. I feel so much, so often. I dream a lot and only remember the relevant ones. Repetitive dreams usually mean more than anything. I caution other, I should come wrapped in caution tape.